So Not Hardcore

2006-09-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

1. Do you use the restroom in public places?

yeah, but i use a toilet seat cover

2. What is your favorite kinda porn... girl on girl, 3somes, guy/girl, guy/guy?

definitely not guy on guy...gross

3. Do you talk to your neighbors? Have they heard you? You heard them?

not really

4. Ever maxed out your credit card? Bounced a check?

yes to the credit card, no to the check

5. 3 words to describe your significant other's "down there".

Absolutely F**kin' Perfect!!!!! *ill leave jen's answer*

Bonus: Have you ever had an affair? No

stole from my sister

2006-09-13T10:19:00.000-04:00

1. Have you ever bought something to increase your sexual performance or enhance your attributes?

nope

2. Do you talk to your parents about sex? Can you/will you talk to your children?

My parents gave me a book, probably why I ended up pregnant at 15. I will definitely have the talk with my girls. I'm not scared to talk to them about it.

3. Sex during pregnancy... great or ick? Umcomfortable

4. What is the longest you've ever been celebate after having lost your virginity?

now. 8 months

5. What is the best sex game you've ever played?

hmmm...

Bonus: Who was the first person (names unneccessary) you were ever naked in front of for sexual reasons?

Melanie's dad.

2006-04-13T09:28:00.000-04:00

1. My parents got pregnant with me when they were 29 and 30.

2. Dad went on to become a mechanical engineer. Mom is an office manager for an OB/GYN.

3. I only have one sister and she’s 13 years older than I am.

4. I went to Catholic School all 12 years.

5. I graduated high school despite having Melanie my junior year.

6. I only have one grandparent that is still alive - my Grandpa

7. Mom's mother insisted on not being called grandma...thus came Gran.

8. My mom thinks that Melanie was brought here to help her get over her Mom's death.

9. When my Dad's Mom died, my bf at the time wouldn't let me stay at the funeral home bc he was "bored".

10. I am more like my Mom than My Dad.

11. I love the bread and garlic butter at Spaghetti Factory.

12. I have thought a lot more about my parents dying and it really really scares me.

13. I feel like a failure because I haven't put my cosmetology license into use.

14. I hope to be a millionaire by the time I'm 50. No shit.

15. I love tattoos...love love love.

16. I tend to always expect the worst.

17. I got a scholarship to my dream college, but i wasn't a full one and we couldn't afford the rest of the tuition.

18. I never got to really live life. I got pregnant at 15.

19. I have no relationship with God, and anyone who tries to force their beliefs or spiritual sayings on me will get a punch in the nose.

20. I usually feel like my dad loves me, but doesn't like me.

21. Fall is my favorite time of year.

22. I don't like the wind blowing my hair, it gets tangled.

23. I miss my first car .

24. I usually prefer hanging out by myself.

25. I have no problem being home on a friday night.

26. I have a VERY soft spot for ALL animals.

27. I would LOVE to visit Italy someday.

28. I have self-esteem issues.

29. I feel guilty about the smallest things. I blame it on my Catholic upbringing.

30. I prefer silver jewelry over gold.

31. I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke. It sticks to me like white on rice.

31. My dad still yells at me and I'm married with kids.

32. I wish I had a neice or nephew.

33. I worry about everything.

34. When I worry, I get grumpy.

35. I was one of two lead characters in a play in the 6th grade.

36. My school volleyball team won league EVERY single year, until the last.

37. My first car was a 1993 Jeep Grand Cherokee. It was green.

38. My Dad has played in a band since before I was born. He's a guitarist.

39. I enjoy hearing them play, but don't get to often bc of the smoke.

40. I don't believe his heart is into anymore.

41. They do a Bee Gee's medley with my Dad singing the high parts.

42. As soon as I get a CD, i throw the case away, same with a DVD.

43. If I ever won the lottery, I would, help my family, help Dr. Ross, and so much more.

44. I hate to cook.

45. I look to do the celebrity crosswords in the tabloids.

46. I don't gamble.

47. I'm definitely not a party girl.

48. I used to wish I had had Melanie later in life.

49. I'm a lot closer to my dad since we moved to New York.

50. I have always been the heartbreaker, not the heartbreakee.

51. I wish I had stayed in college and gotten a degree, then went to hair school.

52. I come off as a bitch when really I'm just shy.

53. I keep things inside that bother me until I explode.

54. I am a pretty big push over when it comes to Melanie.

55. I would do anything for someone I love.

56. I love to sing, but only when no ones listening.

57. I like to fish but not bait the hook.

58. I planned my wedding in about a month.

59. I have always gotten along better with guys than girls.

60. I think one of my best qualities is making whomever I'm with feel special.

61. I really wish I could have been older when Gran was alive.

62. I could never be with someone who smoked.

63. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and I don't really like being around when people are doing any of these.

64. I like to laugh until I can't breathe.

65. I was raised to always say thank you and appreciate every gift you recieve.

66. I was 5 days early.

67. I love giving gifts.

68. My mind is usually at fault for me not sleeping.

69. I got my first job at 16, and still work there.

70. I don't have a problem asking for help.

71. I'm really proud of my hometown - Louisville, Kentucky - and it's growth over the years.

72. My family is very small.

73. I had to go to the hospital on Mother's Day 2003. I thought I was having a heart attack. No joke.

74. One of the happiest days of my life was when Melanie was born. I married Ryan and finding out I was pregnant again.

75. I don't believe in miracles.

76. I used to have very long blonde hair. Now it's short and dark.

77. I've never been out west.

78. I sometimes wonder if I've ever been close to death.

79. I have a license in cosmetology..

80. I would rather drink Coke than Pepsi.

81. I have loved the Beatles since I was very young.

82. I was the fastest typer in my keyboarding class in high school.

83. I sometimes doubt my parenting abilities.

84. I used to take the TARC to Gran's house after school every day.

85. I get my feelings hurt easily.

86. I prefer showers over baths.

87. I have no problem going to a restaurant and eating by myself.

88. If I am upset or angry....I cry.

89. I hardly ever get excited.

90. No one has ever done anything romantic for me.

91. My two favorite vacations are: (1) Somewhere on the Beach; (2) Somewhere in the Mountains/Woods.

92. I hate talking on the phone.

93. I really believe in Karma.

94. I am not very organized.

95. I have been in one serious car accident. F'er totalled my Jeep...Ran a red light and slammed into the side of me.

96. There are a few smells that I absolutely love: (1) Melly or Ryan right out of the bath; (2) Freshly Cut Grass; (3) Puppy Breath; (4) A Baby's Head.

97. There are a few things that I cannot stand: (1) Child Abuse; (2) Animal Abuse; (3) Arrogance; (4) Drugs; (5) My Next Door Neighbor; (6) Melanie's Father.

98. My favorite Holiday is Halloween.

99. I can't roll my tongue.

100. My biggest fear is death.

Random Survey

2006-04-12T10:27:00.000-04:00

1.My roommate once: Well I've never had a roommate besides family and my husband and daughter...but my husband likes to put oj cartons and milk jugs back in the fridge empty...its such a man thing, my dad does it, ray on everyone loves raymond does it...jerks...

2. Never in my life: Have I ever done drugs.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: Melanie, Ryan, and I'm sure Isabella will be no different.

4. High School was: a lot better once I'm out of it and look back on it. Good times.

5. When I'm nervous: my knees sometimes get shaky

6. The last time I cried was: A few days ago

7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: my sister...and I don't know who else bc i don't hang out with anyone anymore.

8. My eyes: are light green and i get the most compliments on them

9. My hair: is in between stage...trying to grow it out and get it back to blonde.

10. When I was 5: i was in kindergarten at vine street baptist and i loved my teacher

11. Last Christmas: was the last christmas before ryan left for a year.

12. When I turn my head left, I see: a wall

13. I should be: going to the bank

14. When I look down I see: my pregnant belly and hardwood flooring

15. The craziest recent event was: nothing that i can think of

16. If I were a character on Friends I'd be: Rachel

17. By this time next year: my husband back

18. Current Relationship Status: Married

19. I have a hard time understanding: math

20. One time at a family gathering: my cousin chris had sex in my bed while the whole family was downstairs for my mom's 40th birthday party.

21. You know I "like" you if: you dont think im a complete bitch

22. If I won an award, the first person(people) I'd thank is/are: diego

23. Take my advice: take the good with the bad, smile with sad, love what youve got and remember what you had.

24. My ideal breakfast is: hashbrowns and sausage

25. If you visit the place I grew up: you'd like it

26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: Italy hopefully

27. If you spend the night at my house: you'd have gray hairs

28. I'd stop my wedding if: I wasn't in love or he had cheated.

29. The world could do without: Terrorists

30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than date: hussien

31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: power bar

32. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: hmmm...cant remember.

33. My favorite blonde is: Melly

34. My favorite brunette is: Ryan

35. The last time I laughed really hard: Was last night

36. The last time I was drunk was: years ago

37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: dogs

38. I shouldn't have been: so naive when i was younger and such a push over
.

39. Once, at a bar: Never been to one..

40. Last night I: gave melly a bath and watched TV

41. There's this girl I know who: got a boob job and thinks she gods gift to all men

42: I don't know: when Isabella will actually be born.

43. A better name for me would be: Samantha...i think i look like a Sam.

44. If I ever go back to school I'll: go back for vet tech or med assist.

45. How many days until my birthday?: about 34

2006-01-17T11:23:00.000-05:00

I keep forgetting about this journal...i guess because i mostly use my livejournal one. oh well...well life has been very stressful lately. between arguing with melanie's so called father and ryan deploying soon, i have been extremely irritated for the past month. we have got so much to do in such little time, its crazy. and the thing that sucks the most is that we dont know exactly when he is deploying...the just said to be ready at any time. im like that is not helpful. basically he's leaving, and that leaves me with a ton of headaches to take care of. ive got to finish clearing housing, ive got to pay off his wrecks and his school loans and his bank debts. i just feel like im getting left with more than i can handle...i keep telling him he needs to take care of as much stuff as he can before he leaves, because im going to have enough on my plate as is. but who knows. all i know is he owes a lot of people, a lot of money. fortunately we will have the money to pay everything off, but thats just money that we wanted to save for a house. we will probably be buying a house in louisville when he gets back. maybe, we might wait. we are also getting a new car when he gets back. i guess thats the only good thing about deploying. the money. but still that doesnt replace my husband or time. anyway, i need to get going, im tired and ive got a lot to do.

2005-11-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

Well tonight was definitely one of the most uncomfortable moments I've ever had at my mother in law's house. It's all over my brother in law Kyle's stupid girlfriend that no one likes. I don't really feel like going into detail, but I just wanted to get out of there.

I really don't want to go back to New York tomorrow. New York sucks. At least where we live does. I just have to keep reminding myself it's only temporary.

Our dog and my parents dog which happens to be Ry's old dog will not stop fighting. During the summer they were fine together, now we are constantly having to bang on the windows to get them to stop. Sigh...

We took the dog's to Feeder's Supply and gave them baths. That was interesting. I managed to stay pretty dry but Ryan was not as fortunate. Oh well...

Anyway, I need to get going. 4AM comes very fast on little sleep.

2005-11-26T21:12:00.000-05:00

Well I was going to post some pictures but my parents computer is just too slow and I am too impatient.

We went out to the Cheesecake Factory and ate tonight. The wait was over an hour. The food really wasn't all that great, and the bill was over $100 which I thought was ridiculous.

Ryan went to Lazer Blaze with his friends. I was supposed to watch our friends 4 month old baby but the grandma did instead. :( I was disappointed because she is such a good baby.

I uploaded more CD's to the Ipod. I'm going to Jen's tomorrow to do her MP3 player for her.

I really have nothing of value or importance to say so I guess I'll just go.

P.S. I did this post in color, just for you Jen!

To think I might not see those eyes, makes it so hard not to cry - and as we say our last goodbye - i nearly do. - snow patrol

2005-10-28T13:58:00.000-04:00

I hate when I get all these crazy emotions going in my head. I felt so out of control yesterday. I didn't want anyone or anything. I just wanted to go back to Kentucky. I didn't want to deal with life. I hate when I get like that. It's not just from being pregnant and having my hormones go out of control because I used to get like this all the time. Pregnant or not. How can anyone else stand me when I can't stand myself?

Melly said something to me yesterday that really kind of upset me. She said I feel like beating someone up, I just feel like hitting someone. My head is going back and forth, back and forth, and I just feel so mad. I grind my teeth, and she was making a fist, and was like I'm trying to make it stop. I get mad, and then sad, and then grouchy and then happy. I have all these emotions. It really kind of disturbed me. Melly is such a little sweetheart most of the time. But then I remembered that they are learning about different emotions at school right now so I just chalked it up to that. She definately doesn't have an anger problem or anything so I'll just let it go for now.

And so the other night Melanie was talking to her father on the phone, and when she wants to get off the phone with someone, she says "Can we please get off the phone now?" Well, he just couldn't accept that she didn't want to talk to him, and kept accusing Ryan and I of making her get off the phone. She kept going No, No, I just want to get off the phone, and no one is making me get off. Then her little belly puffed up and her eyes got all watery and she got off the phone. I said what's wrong what'd he say. She said, "He said that I was lying and I am going to be in trouble when I come home." He has no idea how to be a parent. First of all she wasn't lying. No one made her get off the phone, second you can't punish her a month after she does something, not that did anything anyway. That's like OK Melanie I'm assuming you lied to me a month ago and now you're punished. He is such an idiot. I wish he would just go away. Melly has no interest in him most of the time. He's a hypocrite too. For some reason it's okay for his fiancee's daughter to call him daddy, but he throws these huge fights if Melly calls Ryan Brodad, or brodaddy. How is that fair? Ryan provides for Melanie which Brian doesn't, and Ryan joined the Army so that Melly would have health/dental insurance. Something Brian never felt the need to try and get for her. I just get so fed up with him, and there's nothing I can do about it. Except for the fact that he's about 5 months behind in child support. He wrote this big thing in his journal about how he paid off his $20,000 car, his brand new motorcycle he just bought, his two credit cards, his divcorce fees, his ex wifes hospital bill and some other shit that totalled about $30,000. But yet he can't pay child support??? Whatever, I'm going to go bc im getting to fired up.

2005-10-26T14:21:00.000-04:00

So I wanted to post a few more pictures so everyone can put a face with the names I will be writing about.

This is my husband Ryan.

This is my daughter Melly.

So anyway, I will talk about more people, but these are the only pictures I have here on the computer. I'll put up more pictures when I go home for Thanksgiving!

2005-10-26T14:16:00.000-04:00

So this is my first post, I believe. I think I tried to post before but it didn't work, or maybe it did. I can't remember. I really just created this blog so that I could post on my sister's, but I figured, it's here I might as well use it. So first off, if you haven't read my profile. My name is Emily. I'm 21. Married. Military wife. Mother to a daughter Melanie, pregnant with another. My life story is basically a boring one but seasoned with much drama and stress here and there. Most of my stress ended when I ended an abusive two year relationship. The only good that came out of it was my daughter, and for that I will never regret the relationship. So here I am! I'll post more later. Well, don't quote me on that...

There be me. <3